Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
