I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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