doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
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