brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
is that a dick in a sweater?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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