Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
