Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
She's the barista slut.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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