Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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