Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
