u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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