So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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