Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
