DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize