but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
