I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
