I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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