Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
