you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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