Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
