If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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