Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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