You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
