my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Randomize
