i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
