So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
