I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
