he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
