Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
North Korea, Best Korea!
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
