Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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