best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
