im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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