Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
