So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
