That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
