And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize
