if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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