ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
