My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
