And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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