idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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