I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
