I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
