Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
