Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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