I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
dude. I can hear the air.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
