we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
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