the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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