Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
did i walk over a car last night?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
