any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
