i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
She tied me up with her honor cords...
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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