If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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