Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
