Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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