Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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