he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
