I wanna passion pit in your ass
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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