He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
